Irony
by Margarita
Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max. *Deals with abuse. DO NOT READ if this bothers you.*
1. Prologue

Irony

Irony

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

*It starts with one thing...*

****

November 2000

"Max, look. There's just...there's nothing left to say." 

"Except the truth."

"We have already been through this!" 

"So far, all I know is what I saw, and what I saw can't be true, because it means everything I felt in my heart for the last year is a lie! Now, you owe me an explanation, and I want it right now!"

"Please quit shouting, Max. You're scaring me." 

"That's a lie, too! You're not scared. You're hiding something."

I willed myself to sound believable. "I'm not."

"What the hell is going on with you, Liz? We never lied to each other, never kept a secret from each other."

"You know, you have got me up on this pedestal, Max, and…I'm not this perfect person. I made a mistake. Look, Kyle and I made love. The end. I'm sorry."

God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.


	2. Dreams

*I don't know why;

Irony

Chapter 2

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*I don't know why;

It doesn't even matter how hard you try…*

****

June 2006

"Max, please! Oh God, no! This isn't happening! No! NO!" I woke with a start, tears streaming down my face. How many times would I have to relive this? 

"Max, I miss you so much," I whispered to the sky. I got up slowly, wrapping a robe around my shoulders as I walked to the front of my house. I opened the door slowly and sank down onto a nearby chair as I gasped in the cool night air. This was the third time in the past week that I had had this dream, and each time it brought back all of the memories I had done my best to repress. This wasn't fair, and I hated it. Why was I doomed to remember that moment over and over again? 

Isabel says that none of them blame me. She's probably right – she became a psychiatrist, after all. I still don't believe her. The fact of the matter is that if I were one of them, I would blame me too. 

"What could you have done?" Tess asked me once. "You don't have any powers." I slapped her across the face and watched shock and terror fill her eyes. I think she finally realized just how broken I had become. I know that she was only trying to make me feel better, but it still seemed as if she were saying, _"You couldn't do anything, but I could have. I could have saved him."_

In two weeks, it will have been five years. Five. I hope that wherever he is, Max has finally forgiven me. God knows I'm far from forgiving myself.


	3. Lies

*Keep that in mind

Irony

Chapter 3

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

*Keep that in mind.

I designed this rhyme to explain in due time all I know…*

****

February 2001

Max still believes that I slept with Kyle. I suppose that's a good thing, although it still hurts to know that I'm lying to him. My chest aches every time I look at him and although it's cliché, I swear I can actually feel my heart ripping in two.

Tess has been infuriatingly cheerful, trying to make him feel better, although I think she actually likes Kyle. I know that he loves her. I can see it in his eyes. He looks at her the way that Max used to look at me. 

Max's eyes haunt me. He never smiles or laughs. He's empty. It hurts to look at him – his eyes always seem to be pleading for me to tell him the truth. Either that, or for that night to have never happened. He doesn't know how often I wish for the same thing.

Kyle acts differently around me now. He hugs me a lot. His eyes are sympathetic, but also questioning. Kyle has never asked me why I wanted to convince Max that I slept with him, and I'm grateful for that. He has also helped me to convince Max entirely, although I know it's against his nature. Kyle doesn't like to be lied to.

I think Isabel knows the truth. She's not positive, of course, but she's the only one who hasn't accepted our story. Of course, Maria didn't either, but I told her the truth a long time ago. She's the only one who knows exactly what future Max told me. 

"What are you hiding, Liz?" Isabel cornered me yesterday in the break room of the Crashdown. I never even heard her coming. Damn aliens.

"What are you talking about?" I feigned innocence, something that has become second nature to me in the past few months. 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she countered. Her eyes glittered and I shivered. She looked like a cat hunting down a cornered mouse. I backed up a few steps. 

"I'm sorry, but I don't." I looked at my watch. "Was there something you wanted? I should really be getting back to work. It's almost time for the lunch crowd." I stood up, hiding my shaking hands behind my back. 

Isabel's face changed as I walked towards her. "Please, Liz," she whispered as I walked by her. "It's killing him. I know you didn't sleep with Kyle, and I hate what you're doing to Max. Why are you hurting him? What did he do?" A tear slid down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. 

I tried to think of something to say, but there was nothing that hadn't already been said.

Her face became cold again at my silence. "I hope you enjoyed fucking Kyle," she spat. "You're certainly giving up everything for it." She turned and walked away quickly. 

As soon as she left the room, I burst into tears. She was right; I was giving up everything for that one night. But what she didn't understand was that I had known that before going to Kyle. That was the plan. I was to give up everything – my marriage to Max, our children, and our future – to keep Tess in Roswell. Isabel didn't know how right she was or how much it hurt to know that I had succeeded.


	4. Memories

Irony

Irony

Chapter 4

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*Time is a valuable thing.   
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings.   
Watch it count down to the end of the day.   
The clock ticks life away.   
It's so unreal.   
Didn't look out below.  
Watch the time go right out the window…*  


****

June 2006, 3 days later

I woke up with a headache. It's the lack of sleep, I suppose. I haven't slept well for the past two weeks. To be honest, I've been afraid to sleep, afraid that the dream will come again. It's so much easier to forget things when you're exhausted. Maria says I've been working too hard, that I should go home and rest, but I refuse. I always work harder this time of year.

Memories are funny. It's so strange how they pop up in the oddest places. I'll be driving through the desert or I'll pass by someone wearing his cologne, and suddenly everything will flood back. It's hard, you know. Everyone makes mistakes, but who wants to know that her mistake cost so much? I try to keep myself from thinking about him. I don't like to remember that I caused such unnecessary pain. I try to avoid everything and anything that reminds me of him, but it's difficult – he has permeated my memories.

Tess and Kyle are still together. I always knew that he loved her, but what was really shocking was that she loved him back. Apparently, he had known for far longer than the rest of us; when they decided to make their relationship public they had been sleeping together for almost four months. I wish someone had told me. I wish I had known that Tess already had the person that would keep her in her Roswell. It might have saved all of us – me especially – a lot of pain. 

I can't believe that he's been gone for five years. It seems like it has been infinitely longer. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, short of breath, all alone, and it seems like it was all a dream. Aliens, in Roswell? I'll laugh quietly, and then I'll feel for the small scar on my stomach. It's always there. I usually dig my nails into it, clawing at it in at attempt to feel some pain. I was supposed to die. I should have died. By saving me, Max eventually sacrificed his life for mine.

"Liz!" Maria's voice snaps me back into reality and I accidentally drop the bottle of ketchup that I'm holding. It shatters as it hits the counter, and I'm catapulted back into the moment over six years ago. I see Max above me, and I see the concern and fear in his eyes. And then I remember the connection and all of his thoughts about me. He thought I was beautiful…

"Liz, sweetheart, get up." Maria pulls gently on my arm and I stand. My uniform is splattered with ketchup and my cheeks are wet. "Go home, babe. Get some sleep." I start to protest, but she gently pushes me toward the back room. "Go on; I'll be over later." I follow her orders, changing without thinking and then driving home slowly. When I reach my house, I change again, burrowing myself underneath cool sheets. All I want to do is sleep – maybe when I wake up, this will all have been a dream after all.


	5. Fears

Irony

Irony

Chapter 5

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*Trying to hold on, but didn't even know.   
Wasted it all just to watch you go.   
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart…* _  
_

****

April 2001

"Liz! Liz, wake up." I woke up slowly to find Maria at my window. 

"Maria? What time –"

"It's early, but that doesn't matter." She climbed through the window and pulled my covers off. "Hurry up and get dressed. We're meeting because Roswell's resident royalty have Czechoslovakian business to discuss." She rolled her eyes. "Apparently, our lives are in danger!" She slumped onto the bed in a dramatic pose, hand across her forehead, and then sat up abruptly. "Wahoo. That's old news. How about something new for a change?" 

I laughed as I pulled on my pants, then turned when I heard her gasp. "Michael!" I hurriedly covered my shirtless chest with my arms.

"You want something new, Blondie?" he asked, leaning through the window. "The skins are back." I gasped and he turned to look at me. "Get dressed, Parker. We're meeting, pronto."

He turned and a moment later we heard him jump from the bottom rung of the ladder leading to the roof outside of my room. Maria turned to look at me as I pulled a shirt over my head quickly. "Did you see that?" she asked. "He is _so_ rude! I mean, he waltzes over here and looks through your window when you're practically naked –"

"I had a bra on," I told her as I put my keys and some money into my purse. 

"— and that's just gross! I mean, not that you aren't my lovely best friend and all, but you _are_ my best friend and you'd think that if he was going to spy on girls while they were changing he'd at least have the decency to spy on…" she paused, searching for words, "…well, me!"

"Maria, come on!" I pulled her arm and she finally looked up at me. "We need to go. This is important."

She scowled. "Fine, but I plan on telling Michael exactly what I think about his new little hobby," she informed me as she climbed out of my window. I followed, making sure to lock it on my way out.

"Maria, you're missing something here. The skins are back." My voice faltered. "He…future Max…told me about that, remember?"

She nodded, her face suddenly becoming serious. "Right. So we'd better go."

"Yeah." I took a deep breath. "Maria," I whispered after a minute, "I'm scared."

She pulled me into a hug and sighed. "I know, babe, I know."


	6. Guilt

Irony

Irony

Chapter 6

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when  
I tried so hard,   
And got so far.   
But in the end   
It doesn't even matter…*   


****

June 2006, the next morning

Maria stopped by after work last night, just like she promised. When I woke up around midnight, she was sitting in my kitchen, humming to herself as she read a magazine and sipped tea. She looked up when I entered the room and immediately ushered me to the kitchen table, insisting that I sit while she got me a cup of tea. A few minutes later, she sat down across from me.

"Thanks." I sighed; the tea was a blessing. "How long have you been here?"

She shrugged. "A few hours. I thought that I should let you sleep, since you have been overworking yourself lately." I started to protest, but she cut me off. "You're letting it torture you again."

I looked up at her, indignant. "Maria, I am not letting anything torture me. What a ridiculous thing to sa—"

"Bullshit, Liz. I know very well that the anniversary of his death is next week." Her face softened. "You have to stop this. Stop blaming yourself. It's been five years. You have to begin to let go."

"Let go?" I shrieked. "Don't tell me about letting go. I'm not the one who leaves her window open every night in the hopes that _someone_ will visit."

"At least he's alive," she snapped.

I knocked the chair over as I stood up, enraged. "Well, thank you very much for informing me that Max is dead, Maria. I was wondering why he hadn't called."

"Liz, I—" she began.

"No. You're right. You're absolutely right. Max is dead, and it's all my fault."

"It is not your fault, Liz. Stop this! No one blames you."

I turned away, my hands shaking as the terror, anger, and guilt of the last five years began to build up inside of me. "I blame myself. That's enough."


	7. Plans

Irony

Irony

Chapter 7

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*I had to fall   
To lose it all.   
But in the end   
It doesn't even matter…*   


****

April 2001, an hour later

"Max, we can't just sit here and wait for them to find us! The Skins are dangerous. We need to be prepared when they arrive." Max frowned and Tess shook her head with a sigh."We could barely stop them last time, Max. It took all of our power, remember?"

"And even with that, they almost captured Isabel," Michael added. Isabel shuddered slightly and Alex frowned.

I sighed; this was a problem. How could I warn them about what future Max had told me without revealing anything? I sighed. "What about the Granalith?"

"What about it?" Max snapped, and I involuntarily flinched. 

"Well, maybe it can help you somehow. The Skins seem to want it." I shrugged, hoping that I appeared casual.

Isabel scrutinized me for a minute, shook her head, and then turned to the group. "Liz is right. When Congresswoman Whitaker had Tess and me trapped, she kept asking me about it. The Skins do want it, although I'm not sure why." She looked at me, and then muttered, "Or how Liz knew about it."

"Fine, so they want the Granalith. What's our battle plan, fearless leader?" Michael looked at Max expectantly, but he ignored Michael and turned to Tess, which I reluctantly noticed. _It's working,_ I thought. _Max is falling for Tess. Yay._

"Is there any way to disguise the cave?" Max asked, his eyes firmly fixed on Tess'.

Tess blushed slightly and then smiled. "Well, there might be. Someone should probably be guarding it at all times." She paused, then added, "It would probably be safest if we guarded it in pairs."

Maria rolled her eyes at me and I stifled a laugh. She smiled and mouthed to me, "I wonder whom Tess wants as her partner?" She gestured towards Kyle with her eyes and shrugged.

"That sounds like a good idea," Max said slowly as he made eye contact with each member of the group. Our eyes locked for a second and then I looked down quickly, frowning at the emotions that were surfacing inside of me.

"Fine, so we'll do that, but in the meantime, we need to have a plan of action, Maxwell." Michael's face was twisted in an effort to hide his fear. I wondered who he was more afraid for – himself or Maria. 

"It isn't safe, Michael. We need to stay together. We can't just go wandering around Roswell—"

"I am _not_ going to sit around and wait to die. Now, we either make a plan or we don't. But either way, I intend to do something." Michael stood up and stalked out of the room. I watched him leave, remembering that in the old future, he had died. I wondered if he had taken his last breath alone.

"Max, you need to do something. Go talk to him," Isabel commanded. "God only knows what he'll do now."

"I will. In the meantime, someone should go out to guard the Granalith, like Tess suggested. Isabel, how about you and someone else?" Max asked.

She paused. "Tess, go with me?"

Tess looked at Max for a moment and then stood up. "Yeah, sure." She smiled at Kyle as she left the room with Isabel.

"So, anything we lowly humans can do?" Alex joked.

"Not at the moment," Max said. "Just keep yourselves safe." He looked at me as he said the sentence and I avoided his eyes again.

"Right, right," Alex said, and the four of us stood, gathering our things as we got ready to leave.

As Maria and I walked towards the door, Max grabbed my arm. I pulled away quickly in order to avoid a flash and he looked hurt for a moment. "Liz…be careful, ok?"

I half-smiled and looked up at him. "Yeah, you too." Maria tugged on my sleeve a moment later, and I turned slowly to face her.

"Liz, come on. We've got work." 

"Oh, right. Keep safe, Max." I turned quickly and Maria and I walked out of the room.


	8. Regrets

*One thing, I don't know why 

Irony

Chapter 8

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*One thing, I don't know why   
It doesn't even matter how hard you try.   
Keep that in mind…*  


****

June 2006, one week before the anniversary of Max's death

I had that dream again last night. Actually, I had it twice. I woke up short of breath around one o'clock, and fell asleep an hour later only to have the dream a second time. I think Max is haunting me. Maria thinks I'm crazy. I have a confession – sometimes I think the exact same thing.

I looked through my scrapbook this morning, when I woke up for the second time. I wanted to remember, something that I haven't wanted for five years. I looked through my old journals as well, recalling the time when I could say, "I'm Liz Parker" without wondering exactly what that sentence meant. 

There was a picture of Maria and myself tucked within the pages and I took it out, remembering the summer heat that had beaten down on our skin that day. We were "helping out" with an alien crisis, and we looked so happy. Maria's eyes were bright and my head was thrown back in laughter. How was I to know that less than two weeks later my entire life would come crashing down around me? I wanted to go back into that moment, to feel the innocence that I was never fully conscious of until it disappeared. I wanted to remember what it was like to have never experienced a grief so complete that it haunted my every movement, threatening to engulf me within it.

Alex came over this afternoon. Maria has forbidden me to work for three days, so it was a nice break in the monotony of being home alone. He was all smiles, telling me jokes and stories about his job. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time, and it felt good. It was also wonderful to see him so happy. Maria and I never really believed that Alex and Isabel would get together when we were younger, but they have been a couple for three years and are both so happy. They're perfect for each other – Isabel keeps Alex in line, and he makes sure that she doesn't overwork herself. Alex also had something else to tell me – he was planning on proposing to Isabel tonight. He showed me the ring and told me somewhat nervously that he wasn't sure how she would react. I told him that I was sure that she'd say yes, and I was right – I just got a phone call, and they're engaged.

Isabel wants me to be a bridesmaid, and I said yes, of course, but couldn't help but think about how Max wouldn't be at the wedding. He had always wanted to walk his sister down the aisle along with their father, and now he wouldn't be able to. I am sure that the wedding will be beautiful, but that part won't be the same. 

I also thought about my own wedding, the one that future Max had shown me. It would never happen now. I would never know what it felt like to have him carry me over the threshold, or to kiss Max, knowing that he was my husband. I would never feel the weight of a wedding band on my finger or have my wedding dance. He was gone, and all of that had left with him. I cried silently, wishing that things could be different, wanting so badly to touch his face or feel his hand entwined with mine. I hated this. I hated grieving, I hated sorrow, and I hated the fact that I knew with certainty that he would never come back to me. It wasn't fair. I cursed the day future Max had come to see me. It seemed as if after that day nothing had ever been the same. I had done his bidding and had paid a price larger than I could ever have imagined.


	9. Pain

Irony

Irony

Chapter 9

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time…   
I tried so hard,   
In spite of the way you were mocking me,   
Acting like I was part of your property.   
Remembering all the times you fought with me,   
I'm surprised it got so (far)...*   


****

June 2001

It had been over two months since the Skins had appeared in Roswell, and we were all anxious. The aliens had been tirelessly guarding the Granalith; they had been taking shifts in pairs every couple of hours. None of them had really slept in weeks, and it was easy to see that they were all exhausted. I secretly hoped that this meant that the Skins had given up, but the general opinion was that they were only biding their time. Deep down, I knew that everyone else was right. It was just easier not to believe it.

But then disaster struck. Tess was hurt badly by a Skin on her way home from guarding the Granalith with Max. She was only a few feet from her back door when the Skin attacked her. He had been behind the hedge of the Valenti's house. Tess tried to fight him off, but he was a large male and much too strong for her. Luckily, Kyle heard her screams and ran outside, frightening the Skin, who fled. He brought Tess inside with the help of the Sheriff, but by that point she was unconscious. They called Max immediately. 

Max was already home and asleep – it was three o'clock in the morning and he was exhausted – but he immediately came over to the Valenti's house. He was able to partially heal Tess, but told Kyle that since she was unconscious, someone would have to watch her and notify him the moment she woke up. Kyle agreed, of course, and even told his father to go back to bed when he volunteered. 

I woke up fifteen minutes later to the sound of footsteps on my balcony. I immediately grabbed the bat I had begun leaving next to my bed for protection, and got out of bed. I stood with my back against the wall next to the window and watched as the shadow paused at my window and then proceeded to unlock it. I lifted my bat as the windowsill was lifted, poised and ready to strike. But then a head poked through. "Liz?"

"Max!" I hissed. "You scared me!"

He looked up at the baseball bat I was still holding in my hands and quickly climbed in the window, shutting it behind him. "I'm glad you recognized me," he said wryly. "I don't think I could have taken that."

"Sorry. I was just trying to be careful."

"Yeah," he said, running his hands through his hair, "that's probably a good thing, considering what just happened."

"Why?" I asked, immediately panicked. "Who's hurt?" 

"Tess." He paused. "I dropped her off at her house after we finished our shift, and then I just drove away." He lowered his eyes, his voice bitter. "A Skin attacked her right outside the house. She couldn't fight back, and now she's unconscious."

"Oh my God, Max," I said. "Is she going to be ok?" 

"I…don't know," he admitted. "I hope so, but she's still unconscious and I can't heal her completely until she wakes up." He clenched his hands into fists. "She should never have been attacked in the first place. I should have waited until she was inside the house before driving away. It's my fault that she was hurt."

"Max, that's not true," I told him, walking over to put the bat back by my bed. "There was no way that you could have known that this would happen."

"I should have been more careful," he insisted. "We knew that the Skins were waiting to attack, but I just left her alone anyway." 

"Max, you still couldn't have known that their attack would take place tonight. You were tired, and so was Tess. You both just wanted to go to bed. I'm sure that she doesn't blame you."

He shook his head. "She must have been so scared."

I shivered, imagining the Skin jumping out at me. "She probably was, Max. But it's still not your fault." He opened his mouth to say something, but then his cell phone rang. I sat on the edge of my bed while I waited for him to finish talking.

"Tess is awake," he said after hanging up. "I have to go."

"Oh, right," I said. "Well, be careful."

"Yeah, you too," he said. I walked with him to the window, and stood there, waiting for him to leave.

"Thanks," he said quietly. "I needed to talk to someone."

"Yeah. You're welcome," I said softly.

He cleared his throat softly. "Listen, Liz, about the whole Kyle thing…I forgive you. I don't think that that has to keep us apart any longer." He leaned in to kiss me.

I stiffened and backed away. "Max," I said finally, "we still can't be together. I just can't." I paused. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Liz," he snapped, "that you won't tell me the truth. You and Kyle never slept together." 

"Max, I'm sorry, but for the last time, Kyle and I made love. Please stop this. You have more important things to worry about."

"It's not true," he snarled. "I refuse to believe it. And if it were true, I'd kill Kyle. He had no right to touch you."

My eyes widened and I stepped in closer to Max. "He had no right to touch me?" I spat. "Well, let me tell you something, Max Evans, you do not own me. And if I want to have sex with Kyle or anyone else, that's my decision to make, not yours."

"He knew that I was in love with you, and you knew it too. Even if you decided that you wanted to have sex with him, he should have said no."

"Why?" I shrieked. "Because King Max would have chopped off my head? You don't have any control over me, Max. You can't order me around, and you certainly cannot control my actions."

"I think that was proved when you fucked Kyle," he snarled.

I stood, shocked, and then gestured to the window. "I think you'd better leave. Please don't ever come back."

He climbed out of the window and then turned. "Liz, wait," he pleaded. 

"Goodbye, Max," I said, slamming the windowsill down and locking the window. I walked back to my bed, got in, and waited until I heard him jump off the ladder. Then, after a few seconds, I burst into tears.


	10. 

Irony

Irony

Chapter 10

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*Things aren't the way they were before.   
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore.  
Not that you knew me back then,   
But it all comes back to me (in the end)…*  


****

June 2006, 3 days before the anniversary of Max's death

The first thing that I noticed when I woke up this morning was that I was very warm. I stretched contentedly, bathed in the sunlight shining through my window. And then I noticed something else, which was that someone was in bed with me. This someone was curled up with their chest to my back, an arm draped protectively across my stomach. This someone had also obviously _not_ been here when I had gone to bed. I shifted slightly, trying to see whom the mystery person was, but he only tightened his grip around my waist, pulling my back tightly to his chest. I felt something hard against the back of my thigh and began to panic when I realized that the person was decidedly male.

I tried to pull myself out of his grip, but he was fast asleep, so I resorted to beating on his arm and kicking him in the hopes that he would wake up and let me go. When that did not work, I began screaming. 

"Let me go! Wake up!"

"Wha--?" I heard someone ask. I kicked him hard on the ankle. "Ow! What the hell are you doing?"

"Who are you" I shrieked, "and what are you doing in my bed? Let me go, you pervert!" I continued beating on his arm and then reached over my head and blindly grabbed a handful of hair. I pulled hard.

"What the fuck? Let go!" I felt someone grab my arm, detach it from his head, and shove me off the bed. When I untangled myself from the blankets, I looked up to see a very tired Michael. His hair was disheveled, and he was still half-asleep. "Bitch," he muttered. He grabbed a blanket from beside me on the floor, pulled it over his body, and went back to sleep.

"Nice to see you, too," I muttered. I decided to let him sleep while I took my shower and got dressed. When he woke up, I would find out exactly what he was doing in Roswell. 

***

By the time Michael got up, I had already showered, dressed, and eaten breakfast. I was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper when he stumbled in wearing sweatpants, hair just as disheveled as before. He immediately walked to the refrigerator, took out the carton of orange juice, and began drinking from the container.

"Ugh! Michael, I have cups, you know."

"I'm proud of you, Parker," he said dryly. He walked over to the table with the carton of juice and turned a chair around so that he could straddle it. "Paper?" he asked. I gestured to the table and he picked up a section and began reading.

We sat in silence for a few moments. I propped my legs up on another chair and pulled his newspaper down so that I could see his eyes. "Michael," I began. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the area," he said, pulling the paper back up.

"So you just thought you'd drop in and sleep with me?" I asked. He dropped the paper and rolled his eyes.

"Liz, calm down. It's not like we had sex or anything."

"Thank God," I muttered. "You still scared me to death this morning."

"At least you weren't woken up by someone kicking you," he said pointedly.

"How was I supposed to know who you were?" I asked. "How did you get into my house, anyway? And why aren't you with Maria or Isabel or someone? I'm not exactly your favorite person, if I recall correctly."

He paused in thought for a moment. "My powers," he said finally. He looked around and then leaned across the table. "I come from up there," he whispered, pointing to the sky.

"Ha, ha, very funny." I rolled my eyes, and he smirked at me.

"Anyway, I went to Isabel's apartment first, but Alex was there, and, well…" He coughed. 

I shuddered. "Ok, more than I ever wanted to know."

"Yep." He laughed. "They were going at it like rabbits."

"Michael! Shut up!"

He smiled and then continued. "So, anyway, I couldn't stay there. Tess and the Jock weren't home. And as for Maria, I decided that I wanted to live through the night and since she's going to kill me as soon as she sees me, you were the only option."

"I see. Well, you're more than welcome to stay here, as long as you don't scare me like that again." I paused. "Why are you in Roswell?"

"Isabel and Alex's wedding."

"That's not for three weeks though." 

He shook his head at me. "They moved it up. Something about Isabel not wanting to plan a big wedding. It's Saturday."

I gasped. "That's in three days! Wait, how come they didn't tell me?"

"They decided it last night. Isabel told me right before she kicked me out of her apartment. Alex said to mention it to you when I got here."

"Oh." We sat in silence for a little while, and then Michael got up and put the orange juice back into the refrigerator. 

"Mind if I take a shower?"

"What? Oh, no," I said absently.

"Ok." He turned to leave.

"Michael?" I asked. 

He paused and looked at me. "What?"

"Do you blame me? You know, for what happened?" 

He thought for a moment, and then slowly said, "No. At least, not anymore." He smiled a half-smile at me, and then walked out of the kitchen.


	11. 

Irony

Irony

Chapter 11

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart.   
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when   
I tried so hard,   
And got so far.   
But in the end,   
It doesn't even matter…*

****

June 2001, that night_  
_

I knocked on the Valenti's door and waited patiently for someone to answer it. A few minutes later, Kyle opened the door, gesturing for me to come inside but to be quiet. "Hey," I said.

He smiled. "Hey."

"How's Tess?"

"She's better. She's been asleep for about an hour. I'd wake her, but it's the first time she's slept all day."

"It's ok." I handed him a card and a box of candy. "It's from Maria and me. I didn't know what to get her, but I figured that chocolate was a safe bet. I mean, I know she's an alien, but she's a female one, so…" My voice trailed off and I looked down at my hands.

"Yeah." He paused for a moment and then sighed. "Liz. Um, not to be rude, but…what are you doing here?"

"To visit Tess, of course," I answered quickly. "Why else would I be here? She's hurt."

"Ok, did something change that I wasn't aware of? Because I kind of thought you two hated each other."

"Kyle, I—"

"Not that you shouldn't become friends, but…" He paused, and then ran a hand through his hair. "Max hasn't been here since he healed Tess this morning."

"Oh." There was an awkward silence and then I smiled at him. "Well, since she's asleep, why don't you call me when she wakes up? Maria and I can come over later, it's no problem."

"Yeah." He took my arm and led me to the couch. He sat down, pulling me down next to him. "Talk."

I stood up quickly. "Thanks, Kyle, but I should really go. We might wake Tess up, and she needs her rest." I turned to go but he blocked my path by placing his feet on the coffee table. I smiled nervously. "What do we have to talk about anyway?"

"Well, for starters, we could chat about the reason why Evans barged in here this morning like a real asshole and accused me of stealing 'his woman.'" 

I sat down next to him on the couch. "Kyle, listen, I'm really sorry about that. Max was—"

"At your house. I know. He told me repeatedly." His face twisted. "I mean, Tess is lying on the floor half-conscious, and he's going on about how we had sex and how I should have resisted you, whatever the fuck that means."

I moaned, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the back of the couch. "It's a long story, but basically, I hinted that I wanted to have sex with you, not the other way around. And then he went into this rant about how he loved me…" I opened my eyes and turned to look at Kyle. "Again, I'm really sorry."

He sighed. "Look, Liz, I think I've been a good sport here. If you can't tell me why we pretended to have sex, fine. I'm not asking, and I won't give you away to Evans." He paused. "But the guy still loves you, Liz. Almost as much as you still love him." I looked away, and he continued. "Maybe you're just prolonging the inevitable here." I looked up when I heard a bell ring in the distance. "It's Tess," he said. "I'll be right back." 

He got up and I rested my head on the back of the couch again. Maybe Kyle was right. This all seemed so pointless. I had done exactly what future Max had asked, and it hadn't prevented anything. Tess had still gotten hurt, and the Skins had still returned. It seemed as if everything I had done had been in vain. I also wanted very badly for Max and I to be a couple again. Kyle had been right – I did love him, and it was obvious that he loved me too, despite everything that had happened.

__

But at the same time, the other part of my brain argued, _you can't very well risk the fate of the world just so that you and Max can be together._ I sighed. That was true as well. Even so, Kyle's words kept echoing inside of my brain. _"Maybe you're just prolonging the inevitable…"_ Part of me was sure that he was right. It seemed only a matter of time before Max and I gave into one another, and I was sick of fighting with him. I decided that I would find Max and apologize. I didn't want to be the cause of the destruction of the world, but that didn't mean that Max and I couldn't be friends. 

I stood up slowly. Kyle still hadn't returned, and I needed to thank him. I walked in the direction of his room, pausing to knock when I saw that the door was closed. "Kyle?" I asked.

"Just a minute," came the muffled reply. A couple of seconds later, he opened the door just wide enough so that he could stick his head out. "Yeah?"

"Listen, thanks for everything, including the pep talk." I kissed him on the cheek.

He blushed. "No problem. Can you let yourself out? Tess needs my help."

"Yeah, sure," I said. "Is she ok?"

"Uh, yeah. She just needs some help reaching her lamp. Bye, Liz." He ducked back into the room and firmly shut the door. Shrugging, I let myself out of the house and got into my car, determined to find Max.

***

At the Evans' house, it took me almost twenty minutes to convince Isabel to tell me where Max was.

"Liz, go away."

"Isabel, please. I need to talk to him."

She laughed, and it sounded inherently evil. I shivered. "Right. Well I think, personally, that Max needs to talk to you about as much as he needs someone to slice his head open. I am _not_ telling you where he is." She began to shut the door, but I shoved all of my weight against it.

"Please. I…need to apologize," I said finally.

"It's about time," she muttered. She sighed and then opened the door the rest of the way. "Fine. He's taking his shift at the chamber."

"Thank you so much, Is!" I said as I ran to my car. Isabel followed me, her face grim.

"You'd better not upset him, or I will hunt you down, Liz Parker! Do you hear me?" 

But I was already gone.


	12. 

Irony

Irony

Chapter 12

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*I had to fall   
To lose it all,   
But in the end   
It doesn't even matter…* 

****

June 2006, the day before the anniversary of Max's death_  
_

I entered the church slowly, with Michael at my side. "There she is," I said, pointing to where Maria stood, talking to Kyle. "Have fun!"

Michael rolled his eyes at me, hesitated for a moment, and then walked over to the pair. He tapped Maria on the shoulder, and when she turned to face him, I saw her mouth open in surprise. Then she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the church.

"Liz!" My head snapped up when I heard Isabel squeal, and I hugged her when she ran over to me.

"Have you seen it?" she asked, holding out her left hand so that I could see the diamond on her engagement ring.

I smiled. "It's beautiful, Is." She beamed and led me over to Alex. I kissed him on the cheek affectionately. "Told you so."

"Liz!" He hugged me. "I'm glad you were right," he whispered into my ear. He pulled away and we both looked over to the corner where Michael and Maria were standing, talking awkwardly. "How did she react?" he asked.

"Not badly, considering that we hadn't heard from him in about three years, ever since he moved to New York." I laughed quietly. "Michael had a look of absolute terror on his face during the entire drive here. It was the funniest thing." I paused. "I think he still loves her."

"Well, obviously," Isabel said, from over my shoulder. I turned to look at her and she smiled. "I'm so glad that you're going to be in the wedding, Liz. I hope Saturday won't be too hard for you," she added quickly.

"I'll manage." I smiled weakly and Alex squeezed my arm supportively.

"It wasn't intentional," Isabel continued. "We just didn't want to wait any longer. We set the date without even realizing what it was." She paused. "Really, Liz, if you can't come…"

I stopped her. "Isabel, I am _not_ missing the wedding of two of my very best friends just because of something that happened five years ago. I'll be here."

"Of course, Lizard breath," Alex said, using a nickname that he had made up for me when we were younger. "We just wanted to make sure that you'd be ok." He smiled and put one arm around Isabel and the other around me. "With my two favorite girls in the ceremony, Saturday is going to be the best day of my life."

"Well, I certainly hope so," Isabel said dryly, her eyes twinkling. Alex opened his mouth to say something but just then Mrs. Evans interrupted us.

"Isabel, honey, we should get everyone together so that we can start the rehearsal." Isabel nodded, and I walked over to where Michael and Maria were talking to tell them that we were about to begin. 

"…and then you don't call me, and I'm just supposed to accept that you're back, Michael?" I cringed as I neared the pair, stopping just within hearing range. Apparently, they were already arguing. I felt bad for Michael. I knew that he had missed Maria while he was gone.

"I'm sorry, Maria, but I couldn't stay here. I had to get away." Michael's back was to me as I approached. "After what happened…" He paused, and when he spoke again, I heard his voice crack. "I…I couldn't stand being here, without Max. You don't understand. I love you, Maria, but Max was like a brother to me. It was too hard…being here and knowing that he wasn't." 

"Michael, I—"

"Maria, no. I love you and I want to be with you and I've missed you like hell. But I couldn't stay. I felt empty with Max gone, and…I didn't know what I'd do to Liz if I saw her. I felt like it was all her fault, and I couldn't be near her without wanting for her to suffer for what had happened."

I gasped. So Michael _had_ blamed me. Not that I hadn't deserved it and didn't believe it as well, but the knowledge that someone blamed me, that he had had to leave in order to avoid physically harming me, was sickening. God, what had I done? My stomach ached and I felt ill. I approached the pair. 

"Liz!" Michael's face paled when he saw me, and I saw him gulp, his Adam's apple bulging. 

"The rehearsal's beginning," I said, looking at Maria. "Isabel wants you to line up." She nodded, and I turned toward the entrance to the church. And then, without looking back, I ran out of the door, got into my car, and drove away.


	13. Destiny

Irony

Irony

Chapter 13

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death. This part deals with abuse. If that bothers you, please DO NOT READ IT.

__

*I've put my trust in you,   
Pushed as far as I can go.   
And for all this,   
There's only one thing you should know…* 

****

June 23, 2001, just after midnight

I stood outside the entrance to the pod chamber, trying to find some way to get Max's attention. Since I wasn't an alien, there was no way for me to get in on my own. I shivered; it was cold outside now despite the warmth of the day. Suddenly, I was grabbed from behind. I tried to scream, but a hand covered my mouth. _Oh God,_ I thought. _It's a skin. I'm going to die._ I began struggling, trying desperately to break free. 

"Liz." I shivered at the hot air caressing my inner ear as a voice whispered my name. "Calm down. It's me." 

I was released, and I turned quickly to find Max behind me. I smacked him on the arm. "What are you trying to do, kill me? That's the second time in two nights that you've scared me!"

"Sorry." He turned away from me to face the side of the cliff in front of us. "Why are you here?"

"I have something that I need to tell you, Max." I hesitated. "Can we go in?" I asked. "I'm freezing."

Max turned and looked around us, trying to see if anyone was watching. Satisfied, he swiped his hand across the stone, causing a silver handprint to form. Then he pressed on the handprint and the cave door opened.

I followed him inside and was surprised to see the difference in appearance from the last time I had been there. The room was lit with candles, which cast a warm, flickering glow over the four pods. There were a few blankets in the corner and I spotted a couple of books beside them. I recognized one as the biography of John F. Kennedy and realized that Max must have been doing some reading. 

"Wow," I said, after a moment. "It's…nice in here."

Max nodded. "Well, after a while it gets boring just sitting here and waiting for an attack. We had to think of other things to do." He blushed when he realized what his statement implied, but I pretended not to notice. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "So," he began, "you had something to tell me?"

"Oh. Well, I basically just wanted to say that I was sick of fighting with you. I want us to be friends, even if we can't be more than that."

"The only one preventing that is you, Liz," he said. "I'm more than willing to be friends."

"Fine, Max, but I'm talking about just friends. Nothing more." I hesitated. "Ever."

His face paled visibly, but he smiled grimly. "I understand."

"Good." I hesitated, nervously playing with one of the rings around my index finger. "Listen, Max, you should know something. My intention was never to hurt you. In fact, although you can't understand this, in a way, I'm protecting you."

"Really," he said dryly. "I had no idea that by betraying me and sleeping with Kyle you were protecting me." 

"Max, that wasn't what—"

"You meant," he interrupted. "Of course not." He sighed. "I don't understand you anymore, Liz. You've changed into this different person, one that I can't relate to, one that I might not want to relate to. The Liz I knew would never have betrayed me, and yet you did. And, strangely enough, you feel no regret for it. So the question is, which Liz is the true one? Did I just never understand you in the first place?"  


"Max, I—"

"I mean, how am I supposed to go on like this? Every time I see you, I have to fight the urge to kiss you. All I want is the truth, Liz. That's all. And for some reason, you're denying it from me. Why? What did I do?" His voice broke and he turned away. "All I ever did was love you. I'm willing to do anything for you, including giving up my 'destiny,' and you don't even care. When did you become so cold?"

"Is that what you think you're doing?" I shot back. "Do you honestly think that you're _giving up_ your destiny for me? No one asked you to do that Max, especially not me. The whole point of all of this has been so that you would accept your destiny."

Max's head snapped up and he turned to look at me. "Why would you want that?"

__

Oh shit, I thought. _Please tell me I never said that. _"Want what?" I asked innocently.

"For me to accept my destiny?" His eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute. Who are you?"

"Max?" I asked, my eyes widening in fear at the expression on his face, "What do you mean? It's me, Liz."

He continued, as if talking to himself. "It all makes sense now. You've been acting so differently lately. The real Liz would never try to hurt me. She would never try to distract me so that the Skins could attack." He began walking towards me and I backed away slowly. "You were the one who suggested that we guard the Granalith. The Skins want it, you said. How did you know? How?" He was screaming at me and still walking forward with a look of hatred on his face. "Tell me how you knew!" he screamed. 

I shuddered as my back hit the rock wall. There was nowhere left for me to go, no way that I could escape. "Max, please," I begged, tears streaming down my face. "It's me. It's Liz. You know me. You love me."

"No," he said. "I don't." 

***

I don't really remember anything else from that night. I think I woke up once just long enough to hear loud, broken sobs echoing through the cave. I can't be sure.

Michael and Isabel found me outside the cave the next morning. I was bruised and I had a black eye, but other than that I was fine. Max was nowhere to be found. I lied and told them that a Skin had attacked us. Max had tried to save me, I insisted. He was badly hurt. He had to be found.

Isabel brought me home while Michael stayed inside of the cave to watch the Granalith. 

The Sheriff found Max's body at the quarry three days later. He had slit his wrists. There was a note next to his body. It said, simply, _"Forgive me…"_

Mrs. Evans was heart-broken. She cried for three days. The Sheriff treated it as a normal suicide, but the rest of us privately agreed that a Skin must have tortured him and forced him to write the note. Only I knew the truth. 

Try having that on your conscience. 

How do you tell someone's family that he committed suicide because he couldn't live with himself? How do you explain his fear and his rage? How do you tell them that their beloved son…brother…leader beat you until you were barely alive? How do you describe the pain that shot through you, or the feeling you have when you smell your own flesh burning? How do you explain the taste of death?

I don't blame Max. He was scared and angry, and I just happened to be in the way when he snapped. I think that he honestly believed that I was a Skin, and that by harming me he could help the Liz that was obviously trapped somewhere, hurt and scared…

When he realized that it was truly me, that the form in front of him writhing in pain was the girl that he had kissed, that he had loved, that he had fanaticized about, something inside of him must have died. He must have used all of his energy to heal me. He must have dragged himself down the cliff, trying desperately to escape what he had done to me. He must have felt that it was his greatest mistake. How ironic that it was a direct result of my own. 


	14. Fate

Irony

Irony

Chapter 14

Author: Margarita

Email: margarita782@hotmail.com

Category: Liz angst, slight M/L romance. 

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Roswell and all of the characters from the show do not belong to me. "In the End" is by Linkin Park, and all lyrics belong to them.

Author's Note: The first part of this is taken directly from the episode "Harvest." All lyrics are in italics. Parts of this piece take place in the future; note the dates at the beginning of the chapters.

Spoilers: "The End of the World," "Harvest," "Max in the City."

Summary: Liz deals with the aftershocks of her promise to future Max.

Warning: Character death.

__

*I tried so hard,   
And got so far.   
But in the end   
It doesn't even matter.   
I had to fall   
To lose it all.   
But in the end   
It doesn't even matter…* 

****

June 23, 2006

"Liz? Liz, wake up, sweetheart." I opened my eyes slowly. It was early morning, and the sun was just coming up. I rolled over to face the voice and stretched slowly. When my hand came in contact with soft grass, I realized that I had fallen asleep in front of Max's grave.

"Liz?" Alex asked softly. I didn't respond, and after a moment, I felt his fingers touch my sleeve tentatively, as if he were afraid that my pale skin would crumble at the slightest contact. Gingerly, he rubbed my upper arm a few times, and then sank down next to me. 

"Alex."

He smiled, but it was also hesitant. "Are you ok?" he asked finally. I nodded and he sighed. "Listen, about the wedding… We, Is and I, maybe we should post—"

"No!" I turned over to face the grave and began to trace the letters engraved on the cold stone. "Don't make that mistake because of me. I couldn't live with myself if someone else's life was ruined because of my actions."

"It's just…" he sighed. "I want you there. And I want you to be happy. But…I also want to marry Isabel, as soon as possible." His voice broke. "I…I love her, Liz."

I sat up and then turned to give Alex a hug. "I know you do," I said softly, "and that's why it isn't fair for you to postpone your happiness because of me."

"Are you _really_ ok?" he asked. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. 

"To be honest? No."

He sighed. "I didn't think so. You want to talk about it?"

"No, not really." I pulled away slightly, and smiled. "I'll be ok. This…it's just hard. You and Is…you are so happy, and I _want_ you to be happy. You deserve to be. But at the same time, it just reminds me of what I'll never have, and all because of a stupid mistake I made a long time ago."

"Liz, even though Max is dead, it doesn't mean that you'll never meet someone new and marry him. You and Maria will both have a lot of children someday. I know it."

I smiled and put my head back on Alex's shoulder. "Don't worry about me. Promise me that you won't, at least not today. It's your day."

"Then you'll come?" he asked.

"Of course. And seeing how the wedding is in…" I glanced at my watch. "Six hours, we'd better get ready."

"Yeah." He stood and then helped me up. We walked back to his car slowly, without speaking.

"Thanks for finding me," I said as he started the car. 

He smiled and then carefully guided the car away from the cemetery.

***

The wedding was beautiful, just as I had predicted, and I have never seen Isabel and Alex so happy. Maria and Michael also looked like they were beginning to rekindle a relationship. I saw them kissing before the wedding began. And as for Kyle and Tess… Well, Kyle let me in on a little secret just before the reception began. He's going to propose to Tess soon, within the next week.

And to tell you the truth, I'm not upset. Sure, I'll be the only one left who's single, but I'll always have my memories of Max. I'll also be the only one who's concerned about the Granalith.

Because though the Skins may have not made any direct contact with my friends for the last five years, they still exist. I'm living proof of that.

Max was right.

Isn't irony funny?

***

In a small cave, hidden near the entrance to the pods, Liz Parker lies on the floor, exhausted. She breaths in the last of the air that exists in the hell she has been confined to for the past five years. Tears run down her face as she remembers the last night that Max was alive, the night when she told him the truth, the night when they consummated their relationship by sleeping together. She also remembers being kidnapped by a Skin with a face the image of her own, and hearing Max's anguished cries after beating "her" almost to death. 

As her eyes close and her lungs contract around poisoned air, Liz smiles, for she knows that soon, very soon, she will be with her beloved.

~End~

*Thanks to Avalon, who, without knowing it, helped me to find the true ending to this piece. *


End file.
